High Achiever's Edge: spirituality

Showing posts with label spirituality. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

My Boss is a Monster!

Suggestion for how to deal with a difficult boss.

READER QUESTION: My boss makes work a living hell! He talks to me like I am nothing and then wants me to help him get out of the messes he makes. One day I was going to punch him in his face for calling me stupid. Please tell me how to deal with this fool before I get arrested!

Jinnie’s Response to “Don’t Want to Get Arrested”:

To say that you are angry would be an understatement and I can see why – stupid is a loaded word! Nonetheless, whenever it gets to the point of wanting to put our hands on someone, it is definitely time to take a minute, so I am glad you reached out.

The first thing to keep in mind is you can only control you. You may be unable to control what others do, but you can control how you respond. In this situation, one of two things could be happening: 1) You really pissed off your boss and you didn’t get the memo, or 2) Something happened to them and they are projecting how they feel about themselves or another situation onto you.

In either case, you CAN do something about how you respond to the situation. Your response may in turn positively affect how your boss feels about and treats you in the future. Before you begin ‘doing’ anything, take a few minutes to think: When was the last time you and your boss really got along with each other? What was good in the relationship at that time? Then remember the situation right after that when the relationship changed, what happened?

Those two memories serve as the time frame wherein something happened. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to figure out what “THAT” was.

Now, it is important that you read what I am about to write VERY carefully and answer the question honestly:

Could you have done anything to warrant your boss’ reaction? If you did, you need to own it. Owning your role means you take full responsibility for your behavior without excuse. If you did not do anything, then chances are your boss may be going through a tough time. Either way, both of you need to address the relationship as it stands and figure out how to better deal with challenges moving forward.

Regardless of whether or not you did something that warrants their reaction, you should talk with your boss (use your best judgment regarding your approach). Let your boss know that you notice either a change or a problem in the relationship and you have been thinking about it. Ask if you both could talk about what may have happened between you. This should open the door to a decent conversation.

Dr. Jinnie Cristerna is a psychotherapist, RoHun Doctor, author, and national mental health expert located in Chicago, IL. Dr. Cristerna works with talented and ambitious individuals, families, and corporations to help them break through and heal psychological roadblocks limiting their success. To learn more about Dr. Cristerna, go to www.HighAchiever.net

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

The Meaning of Your Dreams

I love dreams! So when my family and friends share their dreams with me, I find myself having to control my excitement. My children’s dreams are the BEST and often, are better than television shows with elements of drama, excitement, comedy, suspense, and fear.

After sharing his or her dream, the inevitable question comes up: “What does it mean?”

People have been curious about their dreams from as far back as the Bible. Many believe that dreams are powerful and

have the ability to forewarn us about the future, help us sort through dilemmas, heal broken hearts, and increase self-awareness. For these, and other reasons, people actively seek out the meanings of their dreams and use the help of their friends, books, and psychotherapy to get to their interpretations.

But how do you know if your interpretation is accurate? The following is the basic Jungian process to interpreting your dreams.

1) Write down your dream right away. As a general practice it is good to keep a journal or pen and paper next to your bedside so you can write down your dream as soon as you wake up. A lot of people will say they don’t remember their dream and that’s okay. Just write down what comes to mind. For example, if you feel scared or confused when you woke up or in the dream, write that down. Start somewhere and see where it takes you. What often happens is that over time, you begin to remember more of your dreams.

2) Focus on one symbol at a time. Pick the symbol or scene that stands out the most and begin there. Afterwards, move to the next symbol and so on.

3) Make associations. This is important and has to be relevant to the dreamer! Books and the interpretations of others can be misleading because the associations have to come from within the dreamer. Also, avoid making associations based on the association before it. Make associations based on the symbol itself and write down whatever comes to mind. For example, let’s take the symbol of a teddy bear. One might make the following associations: soothing, safe, cuddle, toddler, protection from the dark, loneliness, or childhood toy.

4) Connect it to your inner life. Most dreams describe what is going on inside of you, the dreamer. Our dreams either show us how we are integrating our subconscious into our conscious mind or resisting our own inner world. So, ask yourself, “What part of your inner life does this symbol remind me of?” If one stayed with the teddy bear example, he or she may realize that he feels lonely and unsafe. Of course, there are many other possibilities based on what resonates with you.

5) Identify the theme of the dream. If you haven’t done the personal associations, making an interpretation is simply guesswork. When you begin to tie the associations in your mind, you will begin to gain clarity on the meaning. Staying with the example of the teddy bear, one may realize that whenever he or she is alone, they feel insecure and unsafe due to not knowing how to find pleasure in the things typically done with other people.

6) Do something physical. This is the last part of dream analysis. Do something with the interpretation. Once we have an accurate interpretation of our dream, we have to do something with it. This helps to integrate our subconscious and conscious minds so we can become more whole. For example, we may decide to go to the gym alone for an hour once a week. This small act is powerful because it affirms the message of the dream and brings the meaning home. It’s important to understand that you do not have to do anything major like change your life. Just one small act is enough to affirm the dream.

There you have it, how to easily interpret your own dreams! If you are interested in learning more about this fascinating topic, Robert Johnson’s book, Inner Work: Using Dreams and Active Imagination for Personal Growth” is an excellent read.

With love and light, I wish you pleasant journeys!

Read more on JetMag.com: http://www.jetmag.com/life/moment-of-clarity-life/meaning-dreams/#ixzz4SwRerFkq

Friday, December 23, 2016

Healing Your Pain

It started with our parents but it ended with us ...

When we become adults, we look back on our lives and begin to realize that certain experiences shaped our perception and personalities more than others.

Our parents aren’t perfect and they did the best they could with what they had. Despite knowing that, we carry the pain of their imperfections long into adulthood. Some people even die carrying the pain they experienced from their parents: abuse, disappointment, unworthiness, helplessness, anger, fear, or judgment.

While our parents may have contributed to some, most or all of our challenges as adults, there comes a point where we have to choose to take responsibility for healing our own pain. When we choose to heal our pain, we are choosing to take responsibility for our happiness, joy, and life; and the world opens up to us.

Some people wonder if fixing our pain is the same as healing and the answer is, not really. Fixing focuses on what is wrong with you or your life and tries to get rid of and replace it with something else. On the other hand, healing takes “fixing” to another level. Healing takes what no longer works for you and evolves into something more aligned with who you are and aspire to be.

Nothing is ever wasted; nothing is ever thrown away.

In other words, we look for the lessons in your experience – the gold – and we use that to build something wonderful and intentional in our life. Everything we experience is valuable and teaches us the lessons we need to learn. This is how we determine what we do and don’t want so we can create a life that suits us.

When we heal our pain, we know out loud those things we hide from and keep secret inside of us. We can now know these things without the shame or guilt. Healing helps us to learn how to forgive and have compassion for ourselves so we can in turn forgive and have compassion for others. When we heal, we can find peace and leave the hell that has trapped us for much of our life.

In fact, many of us live in hells that we have created for ourselves and then get angry when we don’t see heaven. For example, how many people do you know (it could even be you) stay in unhealthy relationships just to make sure their partner feels the same pain they feel (e.g. “Since I’m not happy, you won’t be happy.”)? That’s hell and that’s a choice.

In all fairness, we’re often unable to see the hells we’ve created for ourselves whereas others can see it clearly. The easiest way to determine if we have created our own hell is to take an inventory of who is to blame for our current condition. If we notice that it is someone else’s fault that our life is the way it is, there’s a good chance that we have created our own hell.

However, there’s a bright side! If you have created your hell, you can also free yourself from it. The best and fastest way to do this is taking a safe, but honest look at how you create certain situations in your life. Yhandi’s Inner Light is a wonderful therapy designed specifically for this. If you want to go deeper, then Rohun therapy is excellent. If you want to just take a peek and see what’s there then Heart Centered Hypnotherapy would be a great option.

You deserve to be happy and live your fullest life. By healing and releasing what no longer serves your highest good, taking back your power, and deciding to no longer blame others for your circumstances, you can become that amazing and divine person you know you are.

I hope this was helpful. With love and light, I wish you pleasant journeys.