High Achiever's Edge: lesson learned

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Lesson Learned: Anthony Burrell

“From the ashes of devastation and confusion come the most beautiful and sought after gifts: compassion, forgiveness, hope, and peace. ~Jinnie Cristerna, LCSW, CHt

Anthony Burrell shares his LESSONS LEARNED:
Read more on JetMag.com: http://www.jetmag.com/life/moment-of-clarity-life/lessons-learned-anthony-burrell/#ixzz4USF5quw9

When we think of pain and heartache, our minds typically turn to relationships, careers, or dreams and how we fell short of achieving our goal of happiness. In the case of dancer and choreographer Anthony Burrell, he managed to turn his heartache and pain into triumphs that helped him find his voice and passion.

Burrell has been featured on Lifetime’s hit reality shows, Raising Asia and Dance Moms as the choreographer, as well as season 7 of So You Think You Can Dance?. He has also danced with mega stars like Beyonce, Mariah Carey, Katy Perry, and Rihanna.

Recently, I had an opportunity to talk with Burrell as he shared the real story behind his passion and the lessons he learned from the challenges he encountered in his life.

SEXUAL ABUSE

From the time he was 8 until he was 12, Burrell was molested by a family friend who was also a neighbor. While he is unable to recall how it started, he does remember being confused and afraid.

His perpetrator would walk him by the police station and threaten to tell on him because he was the bad guy, the monster. He was afraid to tell people because he thought he would go to jail. Burrell finally opened up to his mother when he was 21. His shock is that most parents don’t know what is really going on with their children.

Upon further discussion, he disclosed that not only was he molested, but so were his mother and her sisters.

DRUG USE

When he was 12, Burrell returned to live with his mother. Although she was using drugs long before he moved back home with her, seeing her get high is an image that forever remains engrained in his mind.

One day, Burrell found his mother smoking crack and when he did, he saw a ghost, a spirit. “It wasn’t her,” he said. “It was the crack.”

Today, his mother is recovering and has been clean for some time now. They have a very strong relationship and she has become his ‘shero.’

DANCING AS THERAPY

Burrell dances to release the pain and anger from childhood. As he dances, he finds solace, healing, compassion, and forgiveness. What we see onstage is the beauty of his pain transformed into art and passion for life. When he dances, Burrell is free and in that moment, he is love.

1) Stop second-guessing your heart and listen to the first feeling.

2) God is within. It’s up to us to realize that “God-like” power and make it work for our highest good.

3) There is no other option than to be successful.

4) Never take your talent for granted.

Thank you Anthony, for trusting me with your story. As always, I thank you for sharing and we all wish you pleasant journeys.

Dr. Jinnie Cristerna is a psychotherapist, RoHun Doctor, author, and national mental health expert located in Chicago, IL. Dr. Cristerna works with talented and ambitious individuals, families, and corporations to help them break through and heal psychological roadblocks limiting their success. To learn more about Dr. Cristerna, go to www.HighAchiever.net

Lesson Learned: Debra Lee

Who’s the woman behind BET?

Debra Lee, the first female chairman and CEO of the prominent African-American network, has expanded the brand’s reach to more than 90 million households worldwide.

Recently, I caught up with Lee during her latest trip to Chicago and asked her to share the lessons she learned during her career and tenure at BET. While her advice was specific to women and young professionals, her words of wisdom ring true for men as well.

“Sometimes when I look at my career, I feel like I was pushed and pulled a lot. When I became COO I wasn’t looking for a COO position, I was general counsel and I was very happy being in general counsel,” she recalls. ” … When I took it, I found out that two or three guys at my level had already asked for it. But I was like, ‘There wasn’t even a job, how did they know?!’

That just shows the difference between how I was looking at my career and how they were looking at their career,” she continues. “They were positioning themselves for the next step and I was just being happy where I was. I would encourage women to seek out those opportunities and take the next step even if you’re not 100-percent ready; you can learn on the job.”

Lee also shared the following advice for both seasoned and young professionals:

FOR SEASONED PROFESSIONALS:

1) Be prepared for what you’re going to do. “Learn as much as you can about the position. That will take you a long way in terms of self-confidence.”

2) Realize that you have as much to offer as any male in the company. “You have your own ideas and you shouldn’t be afraid to stand up and let your ideas be known. I think women are good listeners and that makes us a good executive, but sometimes women take too long to jump into the fray and let their ideas be known.”

3) Take some risks. “People say, ‘Women are promoted on accomplishments and men are promoted on potential.’ We need to start fighting to be promoted on potential. Tell yourself, ‘OK – I haven’t done this job yet, but I’m smart and I can learn it.’ Be self confident about that.”

FOR YOUNG PROFESSIONALS:

1) Stay in school and get a great education. “That’s always important [because] no one can take that away from you. College is a time to learn and try different things. It’s not just to prepare for what you want to do. I tell my kids all of the time, go, learn, and study whether it’s English or communications, just go and do it! You have the rest of your life to work, go to college and figure out what you’re really interested in doing.”

2) Find something that you’re passionate about. “We all work so hard … it’s always easier if you’re passionate about it. So whether it’s a cause, a company or an industry … make sure you do what you love and what you really care about.”

3) Be true to yourself, your values, your beliefs, and what you want to accomplish. “If you’re true to yourself and your values, you always make the right decision. That’s something that I’ve learned over the years. You have to listen to your inner voice and be true to that. Sometimes that’s difficult if you’re trying to sell a product, or get ratings and you want to do well at your job but you also want to be true to yourself.”

Thank you, Debra Lee, for sharing your LESSONS LEARNED. As always, we wishes you continued success and pleasant journeys as you pave the way for others!